Stop Dieting; Be Happy. How?
by Anne S. Kaplan

A reader once asked me, "How do you give up the diets and accept the cultural stigma and be happy within yourself?" This is really three questions; here are my three answers.

Question 1: How Do I give up the dieting?

Answer 1) I gave up the diets because, even tho' I temporarily lost weight, all they ever accomplished in the end was to make me fatter, more depressed, and always angry at myself for being a failure. Since I stopped dieting, I have mostly maintained a steady weight.

More importantly, I stopped being a failure in my own eyes. Through both therapy and coaching, I found out who I really am and reclaimed my power that I had given away to the word "fat" and to society's (assumed) judgment of me because of my size.

Question 2: How do I accept the cultural stigma?

Answer 2) I do not accept the cultural stigma. I ignore it, confront it, and mostly, prove it wrong by leading as full and rich and authentic a life as possible. I just stopped paying attention to my size, and focus on the important things, like bringing my gifts to the world in a way the world values.

Yes, I am fat; I am also smart, funny, passionate, caring, a good friend, a powerful coach, a spiritual being, a mother, a wife, a leader, a business owner, and an author. Among other things. So, I absolutely refuse to allow anyone -- including me -- to say that fat is anywhere near the most important word on that list.

Question 3: How do I be happy within myself?

Answer 3) I am increasingly happy within myself because I increasingly know who I am, know that I have value and worth, and love the person who is blossoming more and more each day. And, I am ever more making choices in my life based on honoring my values (instead of everyone else's), which is a sometimes tough path that inevitably leads to fulfillment.

I am happy within myself because I have good, important work to do with whatever time I am granted in this life. I am living my Life Purpose and becoming she whom I am meant to be and making a difference in the world. And what else is there?